My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
