if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
