You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
