His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
