Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
