I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
