If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize