id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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