i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Let's get the cat blown out
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
