THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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