Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
