i think my mom watched the whole time
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
