It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
