Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I wish i was in the wii world.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
