this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
How drunk are you?
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