Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
