I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
