Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
my shit smells like andre
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
