maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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