the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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