dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
