you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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