Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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