do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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