my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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