I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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