Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
