Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
