i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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