these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
zippers are such a cool invention
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
