Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
