he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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