On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I touched a dick in church today
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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