Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
