can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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