OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You pole danced in your parka.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
