i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
