it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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