ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
