im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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