So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
