Pappa wants mamma naked
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
