i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
