I wanna passion pit in your ass
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize