Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
