I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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