I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
