let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
