Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
