So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
