Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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