if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
