You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
