the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
