Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
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