Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Randomize
