38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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