guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
