I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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