he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Im part way to drunk.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
