He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
