I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
