i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
