so explain again why im purple
no
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
