so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
