But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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