her vagina looked like bernie madoff
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
