Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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