Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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