dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
MIDGETS
????
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
