She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
