You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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