oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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