weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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