He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize