I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Randomize
