Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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