i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
